New Year

Happy New Year from Little Nicky Machiavelli.

There are plans to really stir things up in ’07 so stay with the blog.

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Armpit Liberation

Armpits (or oxties if you are Scottish)are looking like the next big battleground in the ongoing war in America between Secular society and religious fundamentalism.
Are women who don’t shave their armpits or wax their bikini line lacking moral fibre. Or are the men who claim primary and secondary pubic hair is an abomination before the Lord and demand that adult women take on the appearance of prepubescent girls really just a bunch of closet pervs?

You can join the debate at echidneofthesnakes

Seems like a good one to get the argumentitive juices flowing. I do not actually have an opinion on the advantages or otherwise of removing hair but I am against women being pressured into going against nature purely to conform with some man’s self righteous obsessions.

If You Shoot Yourself In The Foot Who’s To Blame?

If there is one thing politicians do well its shoot themselves in the foot (or, if American, shoot their friends in the face.)

You would think by now, with British troops bogged down in wars of attrition in Iraq and Afghanistan, that all politicians great and small would understand weapons analogies are a very bad idea.
But no, in an address to party workers who provide support for Members of Parliament, Hazel Blears told her audience “we in government are the front line, your job is to make the bullets for us to fire…”
And shoot themselves in the foot no doubt.

Working 366 days a year to deceive us.

Do our wonderful government ever take a break from working flat out to keep us in a state of blissful ignorance. Even on Christmas day they are squirreling away burying bad news. Well let’s face it, if 9/11 was seen by Blair’s government as a good day to bury bad news 12/25 is a thousand times better.
And so over the weekend when the great British public are catatonic after overdosing on everything the news broke that the British Army had attacked the headquarters of the Iraqi police serious crimes squad in Basra.
Now the Iraqis may have a quirky understanding of the role of a serious crimes squad but what this event means is that we, the coalition are now not just at war with terror, truth, insurgency and various nationalist militias, but with the security forces of the Iraqi government (which you may remember was imposed on Iraq by the American / British coalition).
Yes, our boys are attacking those very security forces that a few months ago we were told would be ready to take over responsibility for “homeland security” in Iraq sometime in 2007. The reason for the attack? The serious crimes squad was a bunch of corrupt and depraved torturers, extortionists, rapists, thugs, racketeeers and thieves. Just like Saddam’s government then.
But the real reason the news had to be buried under the fallout from twenty million Christmas dinners. Simple, it shouts more clearly than anything has so far that we, the western alliance, have lost the war.

The World’s Greatest Miserable Bugger

Unfortunately my creation Happy Jack Doomsday was not eligible as he is not a real person so Spiked online had named Gordon Brown as miserablist of the year.
“With his dour personality, dour politics and dour outlook on life he is a worthy winner,” the announcement said.
It makes the Labour plan for a seamless succession from discredited Blair to depressing seem unlikely, even more so when you recall it was the “feelgood factor that carried Labour to their election victories.

We Labour In Vain

Political commentators like myself sometimes despair, you can hear us in the silent depths of the night singing in unison “Things Will Never Get Better.”
Causes for such hopelessness are many and varied. Take the leaked Downing Street memo that acknowledged (at last) the electorate think the government are a bunch of incompetent two faced clowns intent on stuffing their faces, lining their pockets and ennobling their best mates at the taxpayers expense mainly because the government are a bunch of incompetent clowns etc.
All well and good had it not been topped on the same day by a new batch of ministerial stupidities. Top of the heap was the warning to lazy idle good – for – nothings from Work and Pensions minister John Hutton. Hutton said that the “can work, won’t work culture of the long term unemployed will be brought to an end by cuts in their benefits.
Erm… forgive me for being churlish enough to mention this Mr. Hutton but I rather thought the recent rises in unemployment were the result of a failure to take action against greedy employers who export jobs to the far east to take advantage of the cheap labour available there.
Hutton says the “hardcore of claimants” are failing to compete with East European migrants for jobs.
I wonder has he thought that British people with British expectations may lack the basic skills to fill the jobs being taken by East European migrants? Skills such as the ability to subsist on £2 per hour for example.