Who Informs The Informers

During a press briefing yesterday a Downing Street spokesperson was asked had the Prime Minister congratulated Helen Mirren on her winning an Oscar.
The spokesperson replied that the Prime Minister had commented “it takes a very special actress to take on a role of this kind and Helen Mirren is a very special actress.”
As this bore all the hallmarks of Blair having said to his press secretary “if they ask about the Oscars, make something up for me. I can’t be arsed.” Consequently the press pack took up the chase like the pack of bloodthirsty hounds they are.
“And has the Prime Minister actually seen the film and this qualified himself to comment?” a reporter demanded.
Downing Street spokespersons are imperturbable of course.
“No, the Prime Minister had a very full diary and had not yet seen the film, but he had been informed about it and believed everything he was told by the people who had seen it…”

And would these be the same people who informed him that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction?

Who is a cynic and who’s a sceptic?

Among Andrew Marr’s guests on the breakfast show yesterday were satirist Rory Bremner and Peter Hain, the Thatcherite New Labour Northern Ireland Secretary, champion of private finance initiatives in public service industries, privatisation of schools, social housing and everything else, cheerleader for war, genocide and the exploitation of the poor by the very very rich, nee Peter Hain, firey left wing idealogue, leader of protests against war, racism, suppression of trade unions and the excesses of capitalism. Hain took Bremner to task, accusing him of trivialising political debate and sreading “cynicism” about politicians through the way he made fun of their scheming, spin and evasiveness.
Bremner in turn took Hain to task for abandoning every principle on which he had been elected. He also smartly corrected Hain’s misuse of “cynicism” by pointing out that he had meant scepticism.
Not very good at English then, our Pete. But what can we expect from a cynical, sychopphantic, two – faced hypocrite?

*Sceptic: one who doubts everything.
Cynic: oringinally meaning a follower of an ancient Greeek school of Philosophy that taught the pursuit of virtue to the exclusion of all else, the modern meaning of cynicism is the ruthlessl pursuit of self interest (e.g. a cynical foul in football, a cynical marketing ploy in business.)

Dark Forces Are At Work In Downing Street…

Boggart Blog may joke about the dark side of The Force, creatures of the night and all that stuff but we more serious minded folk at Machiavelli know it is dangerous to mock such things. For example, yesterday our colleagues joked about an e-petition on the Downing Street website concerning Jedi Knights and The Force.
Immediately after reading that Little Nicky Machiavelli was gobsmacked to read a serious story revealing that The Traitor Tony Blair has abandoned pretence and gone over to the dark side.
Without informing any of his democratically elected colleagues in the democratically elected government, the Arse Kisser in Chief has been carrying on secret negotiations with the Bush Administration aimed at getting us embroiled in their greatest (and most expensive) lunacy, the Missile Defence Shield (or Son of Star Wars to you and me.)
It may just be coincidence that the Boggart was joking about Star Wars on the day this story broke but we think its a little bit spooky.
That Blair would want to be involved in bestest buddy Georgie’s space game is hardly news, surely there can now be nobody who believes Blair to be “a pretty straight sort of guy” when the accumulated evidence screams he is as bent as a boxing day turd. What we should all be up in arms (forgive the pun) about is that nobody else in the government, not even Prime Minister in Waiting Gordon Brown knew anything about it.
Fortunately, but embarrassingly, it turns out to have been a repetition of “Yo! Blair.” Little Tony begged to be allowed to play with the big boys but was again rebuffed. As a U.S. Embassy spokesman put it, “Right now we are concentrating on The Czech Republic and Poland as the primary sites but there may be opportunities to talk to other nations in the future.”
Although the stated aim of Son Of Star Wars is to negate the threat of a nuclear attack on America from Iran’s missiles (? wot missiles ?) the choice of Poland and the Czech Republic is a bit of a giveaway about the true intent. America’s political right, both the religious and rabid factions, are intent on provoking Russia and re-establishing the cold war, sparking off a new arms race in the process.
What possible reason could there be for this? Well it just so happens that many leaders of the American right have massive business interests in the armaments industry. So where is Blair’s motivation for volunteering Britain as a target for Iran’s non – existent missiles, after all the Americans do not buy military equipment from us? The Russians are our friends and even if Iran was to develop missiles capable of striking Britain or the east coast of America, interceptors launched from here would bring down the nuclear warheads from incoming strikes on friendly nations.
An honest assessment is that neither Britain nor our European partners have anything to gain from this White House madness. So it looks as if the pathetic, shallow, self serving excuse for a human being we call Prime Minister is just so addicted to kissing Bush’s arse he can’t help himself.

Will You Be Mugged By The Labour Thieves?

The Government’s latest plan makeS euthenasia look like a good option for the approaching 70s even if they are healthy.
Were you ever tempted to think what nice caring people those New Labour robots were, the way they exhorted us to abandon our bad habits and save our spare cash for a comfortable retirement or so that we could leave a tidy sum to our surviving perners or descendants..
You poor deluded fools.
This LABOUR Government have already decimated many modest pension funds accumulated by hard working people and they plan to tax us every time we leave home. Now they are planning to tax us on living once we get too old to work, whether we are fit enough to go out for a drive or not.
Under Labour’s latest daylight robbery wheeze, inheritance tax will be 44% as it is now, but the residual amount in the pension fund at death will be taxed, starting at a rate of 70%.
So that’s 44% of everything and 70% of whats left in your pension fund. Not what is left after the taxman takes his 44% of the estate but 70% of the total value of the pension fund.
And that is the cheapest possibility, some types of pension will will be taxed more highly.
This could leave the descendants of many modestly rich people owing more in tax that they will actually inherit.
The only people to escape will be those who do not have a penny to scratch their arse with and of course Labour’s bestest buddies The Very Very Super Dooper Rich who can afford to stash their money in offshore trusts that cannot be taxed.

Oh well, goodbye savings. Open another bottle of wine and pass the fags.


The NHS and The Tyranny of The Bottom Line

We should never give in to tyranny.
Mention tyranny of course and people immediately think of Hitler’s stormtroopers herding people into Gas Chambers or Saddam’s thugs dousing families in petrol and grinningly rattling a matchbox. The most dangerous tyrannies are more subtle and insidious though. Take the tyranny of The Bottom Line for example.
You, like me, probably spent most of your life thinking the Hippocratic Oath sworn by newly qualified medical professionals bound them to “preserve life and alleviate suffering” full stop.
Not any more it don’t.
Sometime in the last few decades, probably quite recently in fact, it has been rewritten to read “I will endeavour to preserve life and alleviate suffering while always prioritising the need to stay within budget.” Or so it would seem.
You may remember Little Nicky Machiavelli slamming the government a few weeks ago over Health Minister Patricia Hewitt’s promise that she would get the deeply indebted NHS back in the black or resign. We suspected some creative accounting would be involved of course.
Well its almost March and, surprise, surprise, the NHS is back in the black. So what dark arts did the minister call upon? The tyranny of the bottom line of course. By that fiscal sleight of hand called accountancy the ministry have diverted our attention from what was going on so now they can point to The Bottom Line and say “look, no deficit.”
But what has really happened is not so easy to quantify. The necessary savings have been made by withholding the funds allocated for patient care, thus denying sick people the best treatments.
Every winter there is an upsurge of new cases presenting themselves to doctors’ surgeries and hospitals. People get sicker quicker in winter. Wisely the government has always put money aside for this peak in demand. Not this year though, saving New Labour’s Bacon and Hewitt’s sorry arse are much more important than preserving life and alleviating suffering in a world ruled by the tyranny of the bottom line.

Read about my experiences at the hands of the NHS bureaucracy. A Stroke OF Luck was published in the USA a few years ago and sold a few thousand before the publishers shut up shop (not my fault, honest.)
There is some strong language in the book but very little, it does not warrant the Adult Content warning Authorsden puts on it.

Bliar, Bliar, Pants on Fire.

I had an e-mail today from Mr. Bliar, I suppose it was inevitable he would catch up with me sooner or later. The tone was not threatening or aggressive but I could tell he was not pleased that I had signed an e-petition protesting against the road pricing stealth tax scam.
Mr Bliar tells me I have been jolly unfair to him and his government; road pricing is not a scam or a stealth tax but a fair and just way of stopping poor (including disabled, unemployed and old) people from taking advantage of the over lax taxation system by constantly congesting roads that are built for the benefit of their richers and betters.
It is a bonus of course that at no extra cost, because we live in a society where everybody has to travel, the scheme will redistribute money from the undeserving poor via the government to the deserving super rich who will all be invited to bill the Transport Department for delivering invoices for non – deliverable services connected with the administration of the road pricing system.
Mr Bliar very patiently explained to me that the whole e-petition thing had been an anti Labour conspiracy led by George Galloway, Claire Short and Jeremy Paxman and was a full of unsubstantiated allegations and slanderous slurs.
As I read I began to feel disoriented, as if the ground I was standing on was no longer solid, that I had over the last ten years been transported to a parallel universe in which truth is whatever happens to be convenient at a precise moment, facts are totally subjective and if you tell a lie big enough and often enough people will eventually believe it.
Imagine my horror when on clicking to close the mail note I found I had signed up to have my house double glazed, bought a life insurance policy and taken out a loan at 500% interest.