Psychological Warfare

Little Nicky was not impressed to read this news item.

July 26, 2006 | WASHINGTON — The 150,000-member American Psychological Association is facing an internal revolt over its year-old policy that condones the participation of psychologists in the interrogations of prisoners during the Bush administration’s “war on terror.”

I mean, psychology is bollocks isn’t it.

Exactly what is a psychologist going to achieve in the war on terror, help Evil Doors and people of Evelyn Tent (Bushisms) get in touch with their inner murdering bastard?

I am contantly gobsmacked at the way psychologists are allowed to elbow their way into everything in the US, doing more harm than good with their bogus science, cliches and total inability to grasp the first thing about human nature. (CLUE for Shrinks Freud may have wanted to shag his mother but I don’t. Its just not natural.)

It is well know among the unemployed that the best way to get on disability benefit (higher than unemployment benefit and you’re not expected to look for a job) is to feign mental illness. Real doctors want you to be well, shrinks want you to be ill – they have to justify themselves somehow.

My most recent experience of a psychologist was after suffering a massive brain haemorrhage. I was totally paralysed on one side, my blood pressure was going crazy, I was at death’s door, so ill I couldn’t even wipe my own arse.

The regulation shrink came round and asked “how do you feel about using the use of your left hand?

Well as I had lost my mobility, career, independence, libido and future but not my sense of humour I tried a joke, a poor one but at that stage I was more dead than alive, “oh not too bad,” I said, “I don’t often have to hold two drinks at once.”

“HE’S IN DENIAL!” sang the shrink. Denial of what? Loss of use in a hand was a minor problem, every night I went to sleep with the knowledge it was touch and go that I would wake up. One thing I did know though, a slide into self pity would have destroyed me.

Shrinks are no bloody use for anything, if they are to be used in warfare why not fire them at both sides in the Lebanon. Facing a barrage of psychologists might bring them to their senses. CAn you imagine the reaction to such news?

“Solly? Its Mohammed. We’d best stop shooting and eff off, they’re sending psychologists to bore us to death.”

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